Who’s Got the Monkey? How to Stop Carrying Other People’s Problems
Ever had that sinking feeling when your to-do list mysteriously doubles overnight? You start the day with a clear plan, but by lunchtime, you’ve somehow inherited everyone else’s problems. Sound familiar? Welcome to the world of accidental monkey collecting.
The term “monkey management” comes from a brilliant Harvard Business Review article that likens every problem to a monkey sitting on someone’s back. If you’re not careful, those monkeys will leap onto yours faster than you can say, “Sure, I’ll take a look at that.”
The Great Monkey Rescue of Steve
Let’s talk about Steve. Steve’s a great leader, the kind of person who genuinely cares about his team. If someone had a problem, his instinct was to roll up his sleeves and fix it. By 10 am, he’d have at least three monkeys clinging to him, and by 4 pm, he looked like he was starring in a low-budget jungle documentary.
He came to us exhausted, working late every night, and wondering why his team weren’t stepping up. The problem? He was so good at taking on their problems that they never had to.
The Monkey Management Fix
We introduced Steve to the magic phrase:
“That sounds important. What do you think we should do about it?”
Instead of adopting every problem, Steve started coaching his team to keep hold of their own monkeys. He’d listen, ask the right questions, and help them come up with their own solutions. The result? His team grew in confidence, decisions were made faster, and Steve finally made it home for dinner.
How to Keep Your Back Monkey-Free
- Spot the Monkey Handover – When someone brings you a problem, ask yourself: Am I about to take responsibility for this?
- Hand the Monkey Back – Ask, “What do you think?” or “What have you already tried?”
- Support, Don’t Adopt – Guide, coach, and encourage, but don’t do the work for them.
Monkey management is a game-changer. It’s about helping others step up, rather than stepping in. Try it this week and see how much lighter you feel. And if you spot a Steve in your office, give him a nudge – or at least a banana. 🍌